Everyone has a #ReasonToRun. I don’t recall anyone ever saying they started running for no reason at all. In the lead up to the London Marathon I am paying more and more attention to the reasons why other people have chosen to do so.
Personally I started running after experiencing the feeling it gave me. After going through some tough times, when some would find alternative outlets, I turned to exercise. I used running and fitness as my way of coping, a way to deal with stress, drama’s and anguish experienced during day to day life, and as such it has now become the one time of day where I find peace. During that hour, two hours – whatever the time would be – I find that my mind goes to a different place. I don’t think, I just run or if I am not running – I spin. It has become my haven, the me time and time when I don’t have a care of the world.
As the London Marathon gets closer my love for running is diminishing. The enjoyment I experienced before the training cranked up a notch has been replaced by resentment. I long for the easy, careless, stress free runs I used to have. Now every run feels forced and lately even the short runs are a struggle. I resent the miles, the training plan, pacing, mapping runs on Strava and even my new snazzy trainers – which I am still finding hard to adjust to. Every run is slower than the last, I have a constant feeling of fatigue and self doubt. I have learned that I do not enjoy anything over half a marathon and in fact trying to get to the 16, 18, 20 and 22 mile runs just seems virtually impossible right now. On Saturday I even gave up at 12.5 miles, calling Ross to come pick me up, after crying for half a mile. Immediately concerned, he asked “are you okay?” On receiving my answer, he simply made a very good point – “If you need to walk, walk. If you run 20 miles on the day and have to walk the last 6.2 then so be it. You will finish.” And I suppose that’s all we can do – forget times, aim to finish.
So as the six week count down approaches I have to keep trying to remind myself why I am doing this. The London Marathon was on my bucket list and I was lucky enough to be able to run it for The Willow Foundation. There are many people who are not able to run, so I am running for them. I am running for those who have fought a life threatening illness, for those who have lost loved ones and those who have been lost in the fight, in the hope that one day time spent with those we love will not be cut short.
“Failure is not falling down, but refusing to get up.” Pick yourself up and keep running until you finish!
What is your #ReasonToRun?